clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
