I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
