Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
