I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
