I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
