I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
