Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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