the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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