4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you would pick up someone in the library
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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