is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
