this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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