These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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