good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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