whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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