I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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