oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
