she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
