I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize