the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
