I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
