You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
