i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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