i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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