You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize