I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
