Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
