Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
