Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
