Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
