Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
