it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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