is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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