On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
