They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
