Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
