If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
