He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this just has baby written all over it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
