I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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