He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
