I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize