i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
