where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
