I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
