Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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