Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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