On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
