They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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