She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
