since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm at about main and main street
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
