Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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