it's like iHOP with fire
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize