Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
