I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
