So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
