i think i have herpe
just one?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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