so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
