yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
