i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I smell like Dick and happiness
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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