so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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