I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
