i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
