I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
