There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
