He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
