Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize