no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
