Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
