the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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