I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize