I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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