I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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